


Because My One and Future

by Anonymous



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Gen, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Merlin Emrys is a 24 year-old woman living in modern England, 2016, under her landlady, Gaia, as a medical student. But lately she's been experiencing strange and disturbing visions, dreams that pierce through like hidden memories, of a bold, blonde-haired woman wielding a sword, a white castle, a man with raven hair and a hood, a huge fierce dragon...she thinks she must be going mental until she meets the woman from her dreams: Arta Pendragon. The strangest thing is...her memories might be coming back; of Camelot, and the Once and Future Queen she served millennia ago reborn.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. Just a heads-up, this is a complete genderbend, so ALL characters who were male in the original BBC series are now female for this narrative, and all females are now males. Just so we're clear. Also, their appearances may be slightly altered for this story. This also takes place in a modern continuity of the original series, where Merlin and Arthur (genderbent versions) have been reincarnated in this present-day world, but their memories might start to return...well, you'll just have to wait and see about that! 
> 
> -M

Every time Merlin goes to sleep, the dreams return to her. 

One jumbled collection after another, it gets so disorienting that she can barely even recall what happened in most of them after she wakes up. 

The few images she does conserve in her mind comprise of this:

_ A blonde woman with a bold face wearing armor and wielding a beautiful gold steel sword in the air… _

_ A giant white castle, against a pale blue sky, red and gold flags waving in the wind… _

_ A huge gray-green  _ dragon _ with glowing yellow eyes, wings like sails, and a booming voice… _

_ A familiar white-haired old woman wearing a long red dress and holding a twisted staff… _

Her astonishingly bright eyes pierce through her own, and all at once, she’s back in her own bed again, twisted among the bed-covers. 

“Merlin? That you?” 

She can hear faintly, along with a few genteel knocks, and groans, brushing the dark hair off her face. 

“Is everything alright?” 

She attempts to get up out of the bed, but as mentioned before, the bed sheets have tangled around her like a net, and when she tries to hop out, she promptly trips and falls to the ground. 

“Ow!”

“Merlin?”

She jumps up, having succeeded at getting the sheets off her, and rushes forwards to answer the door. 

“Why, Merlin. You’re off to a late start this morning!” She’s greeted by the kind wrinkled face of her landlady, Gaia Wilson. 

“Gaia!” she answers back, smiling. “It is a Saturday after all.”

The elderly lady puts one hand on her hip. “That may be true, but still, 11:30 is a tad of a lie-in, don’t you think?” 

Merlin nods sheepishly. “I guess so. Won’t you come in?” 

Gaia agrees, but also informs Merlin that she should probably wash up first. 

Merlin complies with this request, and about 10 minutes later, she returns to the main room, where Gaia sits with a cup of tea beside the coffee table. 

Merlin straightens her brown skirt, and sits down beside her. 

Merlin grins cheekily at Gaia. “Don’t suppose you’ve got any biscuits along with you, have you?”

Gaia merely sighs, and after a mock-pleading face from her young ward, produces said biscuits, shaking her head. 

“I suppose it’s only fair I let you have these. You’re rather thin. If I didn’t know you as well as I do, I’d be worried about you getting enough to eat.”

“Well, thanks very much, Gaia.” Merlin takes the cookies from her gleefully, starting on one at once. 

“So how are your studies going?” 

“Well, they’re not bad.” Merlin ponders over her biscuit. “Decent, I suppose. Can’t really complain, now can I?”

“And why is that?”

“I’m lucky enough to get into Court University. Father was worried I wouldn’t make it this far.”

“No,” Gaia corrects her. “When Hunor sent you to me all those years ago, it was because he wanted to give you a chance at a better school.”

“And a better life?” Merlin grins.

“That remains to be seen,” says Gaia mysteriously. “But for now, I advise you to just keep working hard on your studies.” 

“You’re right, Gaia.” Merlin agreed after a moment’s thought. “That’s probably for the best.”

“And how are your dreams?”

The question catches Merlin a bit off-guard, although she suspected the old lady might ask her that at one point. 

“Fine,” she answers quickly, looking down at the table. 

“Merlin.” Gaia says quietly. “I know you well enough to tell when something is the matter. Now, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” Merlin replies. “It’s just...they’ve been getting clearer, the images. I can still see that woman, and I don’t know why, but there’s something...about her, which I can’t quite explain, but I get this strange feeling whenever I think about her.” 

“These dreams are recurring, are they not?”

“Yes,” Merlin stares off into the distance, not wanting to meet Gaia’s gaze. “Almost every night since I turned 24 years old.” 

“And of what manner are these dreams? Nightmares?” 

Merlin shakes her head. “No. They’re pretty much just jumbled up images most of the time, but sometimes...they’re more. Like a story, or a scene from a play.”

She looks up suddenly, a hint of panic in her voice. “Should I see a psychologist? I mean, nearly every night, there’s a  _ dragon _ speaking to me, and I have no idea why.” 

Gaia thinks this over, pursing her lips. 

“I think you should do what you think is best,” she says finally. “I trust your judgement, and you should as well. If these dreams are really bothering you so much, then maybe talking to someone else about them might not be such a bad idea.”

Merlin nods slowly. “...OK. Thank you, Gaia.” 

“You’re welcome, Merlin.”

The rest of their time spent together consists of small talk, and the two of them chuckling over their tea and Gaia’s famously delicious biscuits. 

In fact, by the time she cheerfully waves the elderly landlady from her room, the dreams seem to be much less concerning, and she gives them no further thought as she leaves her apartment. 

Some fresh air seems like a good idea. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

The outside air is crisp, and Merlin is quickly reminded that winter will be coming quite soon to the city. 

The leaves on the trees are already falling off, in little heaps on the ground all around her. 

She pulls her coat a little tighter around herself, and tightens her favorite thick red scarf around her neck for more warmth. 

Not many people are out that day, but she smiles affably at the people who are on her walk. 

A few children are outside, no doubt enjoying the privilege of the weekend, and a few throw leaves at one another, all of them running and racing about, and laughing without a care in the world. 

Merlin envies their carefree nature for a brief moment. She had never really had many friends at all in the small town where she grew up, Ealdor, and so had never really had the chance to play around like these kids were. She supposes it’s because she’s always been a bit of a misfit, no matter where she was. Gaia was one of the few people she trusted and counted as a true friend since she had first met her a few years ago, a clumsy teenager with half an idea about what they were doing, and where they were going. 

She does have more friends now than when she was a child, however, and she is grateful for that. In the first year of university, she bumped into a tall young man with dark skin and hair, and a charming friendly smile on her way from exiting a lecture. 

She’s struck by a feeling of familiarity, and can’t place the reason why.

“Sorry,” she apologized, brushing her hair from her eyes. 

“It’s fine,” he said good-naturedly. “I think I’ve done that at least a few times by now. There’s just so many people, right?”

Merlin nods. “That’s definitely not far from the truth.” 

“I’m Gwilym, but most people just call me Gwil.” 

“Nice to meet you, Gwil. I’m Merlin.” They shake hands in a slightly awkward way, and they both laugh at the exchange. Merlin feels a slight tingle from the handshake, and gets the feeling of déjà-vu again, only stronger. Has she met this boy before? Where?

“Merlin, huh? That’s an unusual name.”

Merlin rolls her eyes. “Yeah. I do get that a lot.” She squints at him. “Sorry, but have we met before? I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere…”

“Uh, in class maybe?” Gwil jokes. “I think I was sitting in the row above you.”

“Maybe…”

“So what are you majoring in?” Gwil changes the subject from the awkward pause in conversation. “I’m in marketing.”

“I’m a biology major,” Merlin answers. 

“Wow, that program? That’s tough.” 

“Yeah, it is.” She grins. “But nothing I can’t handle.” 

Gwil chuckles. “I don’t doubt it.”

As it turns out, Gwil works at the coffee shop just a few blocks down from the university, so they go there to catch a couple drinks. 

Gwil is a very kind person, Merlin could tell already, and rather modest as well. He cares deeply about his family, his mother, and his older sister, Elyana. From his description, Merlin deduces that his family isn’t that well-off, so he and his sister getting a scholarship to Court University was something like a great blessing to the both of them, although they still have to work extremely hard to pay their loans off. 

It’s very similar to what Merlin’s situation was like, and the two of them bond over that and their similar happy-go-lucky personalities. 

By the end of that, the two of them are good friends, and Gwil becomes one of the people Merlin holds closest to her heart--but in a platonic way. 

Even so, she still can’t quite shake the feeling that she’s known him for longer than that...but Gwil has repeatedly stated that he has never been to Ealdor, and Merlin really can’t place exactly when or where she might have known him from anyway. 

Speaking of Gwilym, maybe she would go and visit him down at the shop, maybe grab a drink and a tart. Poor Gwil was probably still there, usually taking the earliest shifts until about late afternoon. 

She felt a twinge of guilt at her so-called “late start” that morning, and resolves to try and sleep in less. Not likely that she would actually hold herself true to that promise though. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

The shop is close to the university, so Merlin hops on the bus to get there. She’s too late for the first one, which drives away from the stop just as she makes it there, leaving her outstretched hand in thin air, so she decides to wait.  Finally, the second bus arrives, and she thanks the God of public transportation for that. She gets on, and settles into a seat, when a light flare from something shiny hits her eyes. She looks to see what it is, and the source of the flare is from the sunlight bouncing off a shiny black phone. She glances up to see the person holding the phone, just for a brief second--

She freezes. Time seems to stand perfectly still. 

_ What? Is it really...it can’t be! _

Fingers tapping on the screen, other hand holding on to the strap overhead. Fair skin, dark red jacket with silver lining...cascading dark blonde hair over broad shoulders...long-lashed blue eyes staring absent-mindedly down at her screen…

It  _ is _ really her, no mistake about it. It is the woman from Merlin’s dream, the woman who she couldn’t quite place, the woman she felt such a strong feeling towards…

Her mouth opens slightly. She wants to talk to her, but something holds her back. 

She tries again.  _ Say something! Anything!  _

She feels a sudden wetness down her cheek, and is bewildered. 

Why is she  _ crying _ ? What is this... _ overwhelming _ emotion? Sadness? How could she be so sad about a woman she doesn’t even  _ know _ ? 

Joy? Relief? 

_ What is it? _

Whatever it is, she almost doesn’t even realize when her stop is coming up until the doors are opening. She gets up shakily from her seat, lurching over to the exit. 

She realizes the woman is getting off at the same stop as her. 

She almost laughs at the irony of this. 

As it turns out, the two of them are heading to the same destination, just to top it all off. 

What were the chances of that? 

Why did she feel so strongly about this young woman? 

What was it about her that makes her feel like she wants to cry and laugh at the same time? 

She looks exactly like the same warrior woman from her dreams, but that could just be a freaky coincidence. It was just a dream, after all. 

But something inexplicably tells her there’s something much more to it all. 

_ It’s...not just a dream?  _

No, there’s something more there. Something...deep. Something strong. 

As to what the  _ hell _ it is, Merlin has absolutely no idea whatsoever. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

She follows the woman down the street and regrets not getting out of the bus faster...it’s one of those awkward situations where one person trailing behind the other seems quite like a low-level stalker. 

In fact, Merlin’s cursing herself so much while she crosses the third street, it only just registers in her mind that the woman has stopped abruptly, just a few meters away from the coffee shop’s entrance. 

Merlin stares blankly at her and realizes that the woman has just asked her a question. 

“Um.” she says stupidly. “Sorry?”

The woman repeats herself. “I asked if you were following me.” Although her tone is serious, Merlin swears the question isn’t actually. 

“No.” she retorts. “Unless you’re expecting to be followed around?”

The woman lifts an eyebrow. “So this whole walk was just a coincidence, then?”

“Well, of course. Unless you think I actually enjoy following people to coffee shops?”

The woman’s lips twitch slightly as though she’s about to laugh. 

“You can never be too careful.” 

“I suppose. But honestly, I just really want a coffee.”

“And can you prove that?”

“Yeah, because I’m sure my unhealthy need for caffeine is a cause of suspicion.” 

They stare each other down for a few moments, before the two of them finally give in and crack up.  The woman has a nice laugh: jovial, and deep. Friendly. 

“Well, that’s one way to meet someone,” The woman states. 

“Interrogating them over coffee? Definitely.” 

They both chuckle again, and for some reason, Merlin feels a rush of pride at succeeding in getting the other woman to laugh again, like it’s some sort of accomplishment. She shakes her head quickly, banishing the thought. What is wrong with her? 

“So what’s your name?” 

“I’m Merlin.” She reaches out a hand to shake, but realizes the woman hasn’t really moved, so she tries to let her hand fall back down to her side as nonchalantly as possible. 

Well, that was awkward. 

Had she done something wrong? 

The woman’s blue eyes stared deeply into her own. 

Merlin couldn’t seem to bring herself to look away, not even for a second. 

It’s like she’s trapped in the bright gaze of those big oceanic eyes. 

At last the woman grins, a trace of cockiness in the expression, and Merlin relaxes. 

Just before they enter the coffee shop, with the woman gesturing for Merlin to go first, she says,

“Hello, Merlin. My name is Arta.”

Her slightly crooked grin grows wider, if possible. 

_ “Arta Pendragon.”  _


End file.
